As I was on my way to class tonight, Steven Curtis Chapman’s song The Change came on the radio. It’s funny, because every time I hear that song, I realize more and more how cliche of a song it is. But, no matter how cliche it is, it never fails to bring back memories of a certain loooong ride in the car on a family vacation the summer between my sophomore and junior year of high school. We were on our way to Pentwater, Michigan. I was ticked off at everyone in the car – mom, dad, Kristen, and probably the dog too. In my fury I had done what any typical teenager does – I popped a CD (it may have been a mix CD, I don’t remember) into my walkman CD player (iPods hadn’t been invented yet), cranked up the music really loud, and looked out the window for the remainder of the trip. I was the perfect picture of teenage angst and drama.
And then, something happened. This song started ringing through my earphones and into my ear drums. And, despite the cheese of them now, the lyrics did something… they penetrated my teenage angst and fury and reached in and grabbed my soul:
Well I’ve got this way of thinking that comes so naturally
Where I believe the whole world is revolving around me
And I got this way of living that I have to die to every single day
cause if God’s spirit lives inside of me, yeah
I’m gonna live life differentlyI’m gonna have the change
I’m gonna have the difference
I’m gonna have the grace
I’m gonna have forgiveness
I’m gonna live a life thats showing
I’m undergoing the changeWhat about the change
What about the difference
What about the grace
What about forgiveness
I want to live a life thats showing
I’m undergoing the change
There was something about those lyrics that grabbed my heart, pulled it out of my chest, kicked it around a little, and then put it back in, waiting to be rebuilt by God. I was convicted.
I spent the rest of that week wrestling, exploring and questioning. What was the meaning of this whole Christianity thing that I had been associating myself with? Did being a Christian really mean more than having t-shirts and WWJD bracelets and listening to (mostly crappy at the time) Christian music? What was this change that was being sung about?
I read my Bible. I journaled. I prayed. I lay in bed awake for hours most nights of that vacation. I really struggled through what it meant to be a follower of Christ and not “just” a Christian.
So, basically, this cheesy song that I just heard on the radio tonight, was the catalyst for what I often refer to as the “turning point” or “conversion” in my faith story. Sometimes it’s good to be reminded of those times.
Lately (and by lately I mean for approximately a year and a half to two years) I’ve been kind of trudging along in my faith journey. I’ve been going through a looooong period of what I have learned to name steadfast faith (ty Aaron Wardle and an entire year of preaching Passionate and Steadfast). As I continue to struggle through this season it’s a huge blessing to be reminded of those seasons in which I have been so passionate about my faith.
And so, despite the cheese of the song, I’m thankful it came on the radio tonight.
Deep Roots. Wide Branches. 